How often have I struggled with my role as just “Mom”. It has been hard to be invisible in a world that shouts – make sure you are visible and well known. It is hard to stay home when others are out carving their space on the road of life. It has been hard to be a trained Engineer with two Masters degrees and then to sit with often unreasonable kids. It is hard to not see a single pay check and have to make financial sacrifices when I know I could have earned well and lived comfortably. Sacrifice is a constant. Had it not been for the fact that I know that I am right in the center of the will of God for my life, this life that I live would seem meaningless.
But knowing that God clearly called me 13 years ago to stay home and care for my children – to teach, train and bring them up in the knowledge and love of the Lord Jesus is what keeps me going. God’s Word says, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” -Proverbs 22:6 and “Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates, so that your days and the days of your children may be many…” Deuteronomy 11:18-21 Training requires the trainer to be right there beside the trainees giving up his all for the well being of the trainees – any army officer would tell us that!
My confidence rests only in God, knowing that this is the best choice for my children, for their eternity and for mine. When I feel invisible, alone, humanly worthless without a job and a paycheck, or when we have to make the choice not to vacation or to drive an older car, or at times when I’d rather not be around these unreasonable kids, I am reminded that – “God’s grace is sufficient for you, for God’s power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. – 2 Corinthians 12:9 I know that though I lose many treasures on earth, I am gaining far more treasure in heaven and in that confidence I rest!
Is it easy…..no way! It is a pay-less, tiring, often frustrating job. Yet, that’s where God wants me. I often lose patience and have to ask God and my family to forgive me……yet He gives the strength and the confidence to go on. At a time when families don’t have time together, we have had the joy of spending hours together with each other and in God’s Presence.
Thank you Lord for pushing me to make a choice to be invisible by the world so that I may be commended by You and gain eternally! I pray that you will help me when I am frustrated, tired, weak and worn out. Encourage my heart to fix my eyes on You who will complete this good work that You have started in me and through me. Please use me to build these children up to be monuments for your glory which will outlast my lifetime. Where I have failed, please compensate. Thank you for the power and the blessing that is mine as I trust and obey You.
I found this story which I hope will encourage other hearts as well.