Category Archives: wedding

Silver Anniversary Thoughts

Twenty five years have come and gone……we were young and so in love! Today, looking back we see that by God’s grace alone do we stand…….Jesus walks before us leading the way. Blind and foolish we have wavered and faltered…….but with God’s bright light, our path was illumined and bettered. We’ve hurt each other through our manifold messes……..thankfully, He has patiently taught us to love and forgive through His death and resurrection. God handpicked and unusually grew our family from two to five…….more grace was needed and was poured out from on high! Parenting tested our strength and endurance…….and the Good Shepherd smiled for we were learning His loving patience. Our children came with trauma and suffering……..our castle often crumbled and we fell down crying. Lovingly Jesus whispered, child, I am here…….holding and loving you, as you do your precious children!

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Lord, we look back in awe and sadness……awe, for by grace we have withstood this race, sadness for the many messes we have made. This day is a day of rejoicing and new beginnings…….for Father, Your love takes us forward and onward. For frail we are and our only hope is to fall before Your throne of mercy and grace…….may we always look upwards to the beauty of Your face! We need You each day that is left of our lives……may You alone be the treasure that our hearts doeth drive. Thank you for carrying us through each year together……it’s Your love that holds us and gives us hope and a forever! Thank you for dear ones who have journeyed with us in love and grace……please bless them with more of Your beautiful face! 

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“What therefore you worship as unknown, this I proclaim to you. The God who made the world and everything in it, being Lord of heaven and earth, does not live in temples made by man, nor is He served by human hands, as though He needed anything, since He himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything. And He made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined allotted periods and the boundaries of their dwelling place, that they should seek God, and perhaps feel their way toward him and find Him. Yet He is actually not far from each one of us, for…….“‘In Him we live and move and have our being’; as even some of your own poets have said, “‘For we are indeed his offspring.’ Being then God’s offspring, we ought not to think that the divine being is like gold or silver or stone, an image formed by the art and imagination of man. The times of ignorance God overlooked, but now He commands all people everywhere to repent, because He has fixed a day on which He will judge the world in righteousness by A Man whom He has appointed; and of this He has given assurance to all by raising Him (Jesus) from the dead.” Acts 17:24-31

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This was the God who brought Peter​ and me together 25 years ago on our wedding day, He is the God who has carried us throughout our lives, ups and downs and all and He is the same God who has assured us that He will be with us for all eternally in heaven when we die! What a comfort!

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Mom’s Address to Her Adopted Son on His Wedding Day

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Babies are eagerly awaited and treasured and parental love grows from the very beginning. But what do you do when God chooses to start your family by giving you a broken, hurting, traumatized 6 year old to love and care for as your own son? Well, Dad and I thought that love and fresh air would do the trick and that we would all live happily ever after just like any “normal” family! And so, we naively decided to step into parenthood bringing you, our son,  into our home in July 1998. We had prayed much and felt led by God when we heard your tragic story but we had absolutely no clue of the roller coaster ride we were in for.

You came into our home knowing very little English – you were from an entirely different background, religion and family than us. You would just sit for hours staring outside your window in our home in NJ. You were angry, frustrated and lied incessantly. When I tried to hug you, you would stiffen and push me away. Our hearts broke as we heard your tragic story of losing your birth-mother, watching her as she had been pushed to die by setting herself on fire, being asked to step into the fire with her, as well as feeling the horror as you could do nothing to help her be okay at the tender age of 5! You were heartbroken and devastated and nobody had understood your pain. You hated me as I was replacing your birth-mother. You would stubbornly refuse to obey anything that I asked you to do. You were failing in school and unable to logically think or function. Our family was held hostage to your anger and failure. We looked like fools to our family and friends and we felt like we must be horrible parents to have a child as broken as you. We put very strict boundaries around you but it didn’t seem to make a difference . You just kept getting worse with each passing year.

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I knew that Jesus was our only hope and often reminded you of verses like Romans 8:28 that “All things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purposes” – yet, even to me it felt empty and hopeless. You hated God because in your mind, how could a loving God that we talked to you about, allow your mother to die so tragically without her knowing Him? We were hitting many walls and Dad and I often felt weary, angry and hopeless – even ready to give up.

I remember checking on you several times each night. I would kneel by your bedside and sob asking God why? Why would He allow a little child to be hurt like this? Why was He not stepping in and helping us? Why? Why? Why? God was our only hope and He needed to act soon.

I would cling to the cross and sob singing this song by Mark Schultz.

I’m down on my knees again tonight,
I’m hoping this prayer will turn out right.
See, there is a boy that needs Your help.
I’ve done all that I can do myself
His mother is tired,
I’m sure You can understand.
Each night as he sleeps
She goes in to hold his hand,
And she tries
Not to cry
As the tears fill her eyes.

Often late at night I watch him sleep,
I dream of the boy he’d like to be.
I try to be strong and see him through,
But Jesus, whom he needs right now is You.
Let him grow old,
Live life without this fear.
What would I be
Living without him here?
He’s so tired,
And he’s scared
Let him know that You’re there.

Can You hear me?
Am I getting through tonight?
Can You see him?
Can You make him feel all right?
If You can hear me
Let me take his place some how.
See, he’s not just anyone, he’s my son.

But, God appeared to be silent. No answers, no explanations, no comfort. The only answer I got was a promise from Him on May 12th, 2002 from Isaiah 54O afflicted one, storm-tossed and not comforted, behold……All your children shall be taught by the Lord, and great shall be the peace of your children. In righteousness you shall be established; you shall be far from oppression, for you shall not fear! I needed faith to believe! Eleven long years went by before we saw God fulfilling this promise to me. In August 2009, God in a miraculous act of grace broke through to you my son, and let His light shine through. He even wiped away your anger and healed your broken mind, spirit and soul!

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You are now twice adopted – once into our family and adopted a second time into God’s family. You now have eternal hope, peace and joy with Jesus!

Life has not been easy my son – I grieve deeply for I did not have you physically with me the first six tender years of your life and then I did not have you emotionally and spiritually the next eleven years because of your trauma. You have been learning to love and care for us step by step, in just the last few years. You know that Dad and I love you dearly through the bad times and the good times, and we are extremely grateful to God for you. Your sisters love you so much too. You have loved your family well! Dad and I have loved you deeply but we’ve also failed you much. Our hope has only been Jesus – that in our weakness, He shines strong. We hope that you will forgive us of our mistakes and sins against you but that you will take the good and carry on the godly heritage that you have received.

 

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And now God is calling you to fly and build your own home with this lovely young lady whom He chose and brought into your life. We rejoice at the good gift that your loving Heavenly Father has gifted you with in your wife, our precious daughter-in-love. Our constant prayer for you both is that you will fully surrender your lives to Jesus and live honoring and loving Him with all your heart, mind, soul and strength. Nothing on earth is worth more than Jesus!

Dad and I send you with our family blessingMay the Lord bless you and keep you, may His face shine upon you and may He be gracious to you, may the Lord lift up His countenance and give you peace!

Love,

~ Mom

Oceans Apart My Bride!

What is on the mind of a young man who has just graduated from college and started working full-time? Definitely anything but marriage! Yet, here I am engaged to be married to a bride who is 10,000 miles away! God has a strange sense of humor!

The summer after my graduation, my family and I were planning a three-week vacation to India. Before leaving, my parents had joked with me about finding me a girl in India, and I had firmly said “NO”. The idea was unthinkable because I had lived most of my life in the US, and hardly had a connection to India. This trip was to be a fun vacation exploring Bangalore the home town of my parents, and visiting friends.

Near the end of an enjoyable stay in India, a family friend invited me to share my life story in her church small group. This was just two days before our family was returning back to the US. After I spoke, another young lady named Shirley also shared about her experiences during a summer internship she had returned from in Germany. She was excited about how God had been leading her, and mentioned that she had been accepted into the PhD program there. This did not seem particularly extraordinary because many people go abroad from India to study. However, soon after that, her mother also shared their family’s story, talking about their struggle after her husband had suffered a stroke 13 years prior, which had left him semi-paralyzed. This made me look at Shirley’s story in a whole new light. She was different to most young people I had met thus far. I was amazed at this family’s faith and trust in the Lord Jesus despite their extremely tough circumstances. I believe it was their sufferings that refined their faithI have refined you, but not as silver; I have tried you in the furnace of affliction (Isaiah 48:10). Incidentally, my parents were impressed too and nudged me, saying that this was the kind of girl they would like me to find as my future wife!

We ran into each other during dinner and we had a short conversation, along with a few other young people there. Shirley intrigued me that evening. I really wanted to get to know her more. She was not on social media at that time, so I gave her my number just before the evening ended. Though our family needed to leave India the following Sunday, we stayed in touch by texting. After I returned to the US,  I started communicating more purposefully with my parents’ permission and blessing. Fast-forward to a month later – after innumerable conversations, a lot of prayer, and our parents’ guidance, I asked Shirley to marry me. By now I had come to know that she was beautiful inside and out, refined through the furnace of suffering and sorrow by God. This may seem unusual to many. But as the Bible says, I had an intimate relationship with God as my Father, when I put my trust in Jesus.  So you are … a son, and if a son, then an heir through God (Galatians 4:7). I had really prayed and asked God to lead me, and was confident that I could trust my Heavenly Father, to give only what was best for me. The Bible promises: And your ears shall hear a word behind you saying, “This is the way, walk in it”, when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left (Isaiah 30:21). So when I proposed to Shirley, I trusted that God would lead me through her response on whether He wanted me to marry her or not. To my delight, Shirley accepted! We went back to India on a very short trip where I formally got her Dad’s permission and proposed to her on one knee with all our family around us! We had a wonderful formal engagement on October 31, 2015 with many family and friends as our witnesses, celebrating the commitment we were making to each other before God.

It’s been a whole year of patiently waiting and living continents apart. Thanks to Skype and WhatsApp, our love has continued to blossom and grow. I long for the day when my beloved bride will arrive here in the US for our wedding, and our future life together.

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One In A Billion -10000 Miles Away

It took me a while to realize how effortlessly Sandeep had captured my heart. All along I thought it was him, but in reality, it was God working.

After I came back from an internship course in Germany last July, my family and I were invited by a friend for a fellowship meeting on the evening of Friday, August 7, 2015. We almost didn’t make it. It was Providence that Sandeep and I met that evening! I was invited to share about God’s grace in providing me with an opportunity to do my PhD in Germany at an area fellowship meeting. Sandeep also shared his life story, and I was in complete awe of how God had redeemed his life.

As I was preparing to leave, I noticed Sandeep interacting with my family and went over to talk to him. There was a spark of interest on both our sides but it was unfortunate that Sandeep was returning to the U.S within a day. So, he gave me his number in the hopes that we could communicate and get to know each other. As we began talking, we were pleasantly surprised at how similar we were on the issues of our faith, family upbringing and the importance of God’s presence in our lives despite growing up 10,000 miles apart! When Sandeep expressed his intention to marry me, my parents and I prayerfully considered his proposal. Mom and I agonized in prayer as it was a huge decision that would change the course of my family’s future. Happily, by God’s grace and guidance, with the blessings of both our parents, I accepted Sandeep’s proposal for marriage. Everything that led up to our engagement and our families coming together happened only by God’s grace and power, to fulfill His plan in our lives.

It’s been a bitter-sweet year as we have waited patiently for the day when we will meet again. I have been busy completing my degree and waiting for the long drawn out process of getting my fiancé visa. My joy has been to spend this year loving my family, knowing about my impending separation from them. My greatest sorrow has been that my beloved Dad will not be there in person to give me away on my wedding day. I have often not understood God’s ways and have sometimes struggled through it, but my family and I trust in His wisdom, that His grace will be sufficient even in this.

Saying “YES” to Sandeep was the best decision I have ever made. I fell in love with him because I saw his passion for Christ and his love for family. He stood out to me because God used his broken past to transform him. He knew exactly what it meant to be deeply hurt and deeply loved, which had led him to accept Jesus’ love through that. When I said “YES” it meant that I was committing to spend the rest of my life with Sandeep serving God wherever He leads us, with the goal of bringing glory to His name!