I am a hopeless romantic – I love the Hallmark Channel and romance done right. When and I got engaged in June 1991, almost 25 years ago, I was hoping, no expecting that all those romantic dreams built in my heart and head growing up, were going to be fulfilled – by my husband, no less. Yes, we really loved each other and were excited about our married life together, but life with its unpredictability and brokenness began almost from the very start. And, we failed to recognize that as Christians our marriage was a war zone with Satan doing everything (using situations, extended family, suffering, our own brokenness, etc.) to pull us apart and destroy us. Our life journey has been much harder than we imagined, more so as we stepped out in faith into very hard life tasks God called us to. We still struggle and probably will until the very end – yet, we deeply love each other and still stand firm in this marriage covenant. Anything good in our marriage is just God’s amazing grace!
“Our knight in shining armor should be a carpenter from Bethlehem; and He never disappoints. We think our marriages are meant to suit us and our little earthly desires, but our marriages are really part of a bigger story God is telling through his Son. Our expectations must be shaped by treasuring Christ. Only then will we stop pretending and engage in a wartime mentality toward marriage.” -Liz Wann
This is a lesson I am still struggling to wrap my heart around 24 years into our marriage – I still need to learn to know and love Jesus ahove all else and have all my expectations in Him alone. I still often fail to remember that my husband cannot fulfill all my dreams – that he was not created to fulfill the role that only Jesus can fill.
My children, I pray much that you all will learn these lessons early in life. May Jesus be your all in all so that God willing, each of you can have good marriages in Him.
Reference article by Liz Wann: http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/a-dangerous-fairytale-for-future-wives
It took me a while to realize how effortlessly Sandeep had captured my heart. All along I thought it was him, but in reality, it was God working.
After I came back from an internship course in Germany last July, my family and I were invited by a friend for a fellowship meeting on the evening of Friday, August 7, 2015. We almost didn’t make it. It was Providence that Sandeep and I met that evening! I was invited to share about God’s grace in providing me with an opportunity to do my PhD in Germany at an area fellowship meeting. Sandeep also shared his life story, and I was in complete awe of how God had redeemed his life.
As I was preparing to leave, I noticed Sandeep interacting with my family and went over to talk to him. There was a spark of interest on both our sides but it was unfortunate that Sandeep was returning to the U.S within a day. So, he gave me his number in the hopes that we could communicate and get to know each other. As we began talking, we were pleasantly surprised at how similar we were on the issues of our faith, family upbringing and the importance of God’s presence in our lives despite growing up 10,000 miles apart! When Sandeep expressed his intention to marry me, my parents and I prayerfully considered his proposal. Mom and I agonized in prayer as it was a huge decision that would change the course of my family’s future. Happily, by God’s grace and guidance, with the blessings of both our parents, I accepted Sandeep’s proposal for marriage. Everything that led up to our engagement and our families coming together happened only by God’s grace and power, to fulfill His plan in our lives.
It’s been a bitter-sweet year as we have waited patiently for the day when we will meet again. I have been busy completing my degree and waiting for the long drawn out process of getting my fiancé visa. My joy has been to spend this year loving my family, knowing about my impending separation from them. My greatest sorrow has been that my beloved Dad will not be there in person to give me away on my wedding day. I have often not understood God’s ways and have sometimes struggled through it, but my family and I trust in His wisdom, that His grace will be sufficient even in this.
Saying “YES” to Sandeep was the best decision I have ever made. I fell in love with him because I saw his passion for Christ and his love for family. He stood out to me because God used his broken past to transform him. He knew exactly what it meant to be deeply hurt and deeply loved, which had led him to accept Jesus’ love through that. When I said “YES” it meant that I was committing to spend the rest of my life with Sandeep serving God wherever He leads us, with the goal of bringing glory to His name!